16 reasons why you, a man, should hate the patriarchy

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This is a slightly longer version of the blog first published on HuffingtonPostUK on 15/01/2014.

This piece was prompted by Emer O’Toole’s excellent article, Men –if you’re not a feminist, it’s fine, just move on. I loved it, I found it very convincing. Hopefully this list complements it. O’Toole’s point is that men who interact with feminism but care more about male issues can be ‘allies’ but shouldn’t claim to be ‘feminists’. This then isn’t a feminist article per se, but certainly an anti-patriarchy one.

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YORO

Murmur under your breath in criticism of the machine

Occasionally blog against the machine

Listen to decade-old songs that rage against the machine while you work the machine

Tell people you sometimes feel frustrated by the machine

Rage against people who embody the machine more than you do

Download Taylor Swift’s latest album

Tweet against Apple’s sweatshop production model on your smartphone

Patience is a virtue in pursuit of rage

Shake it out against the machine

Smoke only rollies

Post statuses about people in countries where the machine is rather more overt and harsh

ISIS against the machine

If you see appropriate articles nuancing the approach of the machine, ‘like’ them

Consider pharmaceuticals from machines against rage

Blank spaces against the machinations of emotion

Wear hypercolour Che Guevara

Grapes of wrath against the machine make bitter wine

Doff your cap in deference to the machine but do it with a tiny smirk because you know you aren’t really submitting to the machine

Rage against the kyriarchy through multidisciplinary academic discourse

Evaluate the machine at an Atlantacist Conference on the hegemonic power of automated industry undermining organised labour’s negotiation position

Swill mouthwash to make the machine wintry fresh

Consider with disgust your youthful cultural appropriations of indigenous races’ wars against earlier machine permutations

Recall the vigour with which you raged against the machine at 22

Rage against the machine quietly

Rage against the machine tomorrow

Invest in synthetic marijuana and 10-year gilts from emerging economies

Sneer at newspapers that don’t rage as hard as you do

Dissatisfaction is a necessary but insufficient condition for successful discrete raging in all possible machine worlds

Wear ribbed condoms and a sports jacket against the machine

Double-lock your flat against the machine

Write to your MP(‘s intern) asking them to get at least a little worked up about the impending extenuation of the machine

Red trousers against the machine

Wear sunscreen against the machine

Donate to machine-rage complex charity

The sun also rises for the machine

Stick it to the man machine

Brace yourselves and other memes against the machine

One does not simply rage into Mordor

The beastie boys fought and possibly died for your right to rage against the party

Look on my rage, ye mighty! And despair

The grass is always greener on the machine’s side

YORO

Victors

Some observations concerning the Black Widow debate that solve nothing

It is quite possible that the following raise more issues than they answer, and do not absolve Joss Whedon from the numerous charges laid against him, and it is also possible that all of these points have been made before, though I have not seen them. Continue reading

Welfare policy alone is reason enough not to vote Tory

I don’t usually begin blogs talking about myself, but I will here both to illustrate my argument and excuse my long absence. I have had some health troubles. An eye condition that means it hurts to look at screens, RSI in my hands that makes typing excruciating, and an operation elsewhere that made me generally immobile and tired.

When you’re young and fit, it’s easy to think you’re basically immortal. But even a few minor ailments that refuse to be fixed, or being rushed from hospital to hospital for an emergency operation, makes you consider a new perspective. Thoughts of long-term sickness pay or part time work loom, your appreciation for the NHS blossoms, and it all makes sense why you paid that unwelcome chunk of National Insurance contribution each payday. Then you look at what the 2010-2015 government has been doing for, or rather against, those less able to work or live with dignity.

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Subsumed

 

We want the arab migrants to integrate

To adopt true british culture

We want the arab migrants

To get hammered twice a week

And throw up in the streets

 

We want the Polish migrants to assimilate

To adopt true British culture

We want the Polish migrants

To shout “You fucking slag”

At middle aged secretaries

 

We want West Indies migrants

To shake off their alien culture

Cheer for England in the cricket

And start fights when

We lose the football

 

We want the Indian migrants

To try harder to fit in

Send their kids to Oxbridge

Dodge inheritance tax

Make a killing in the City

 

We want these African migrants

To give up their tribal ways

We want these Africans to

Internalise class awareness

Festooned with trinkets

 

We want these Bengali migrants

To embrace popular culture

Produce twenty or so talk show hosts

Of whom one might

Like to touch children

 

We want these Irish migrants

To come to belong

Betray their Pope, love the Queen

Bring the Guinness

That’s fine

 

 

Come on die young.

 

Not sure about this. Been a bit ill, hence paucity of posts. Many terrible ideas sure to be typed up in the fullness of time. x

 

Festive poetry with a hint of zest.

(Not really about poetry.)

I have found a very simple way to improve any famous poem. My method adds depth, nuance, ambiguity and forces readers to consider some of the English language’s finest bards in a new light. Continue reading

Could Brooker’s ‘White Christmas’ world be a utopia? [spoilers]

I have two thoughts of any substance, following my viewing of Charlie Brooker’s excellent Black Mirror special, White Christmas (watch it). If you are looking forward to some fresh milk, be aware it is about to spoil. Continue reading

Prehistoric agriculture stocks fall further after legal development

23 May 2021
A new twist to the intellectual property dispute between AgriCon Agua and InGen has broken a year-long impasse, Jonathan Lindsell reports, hitting both firms’ value.
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Internet, forget me not

For the sake of recurrent narcissism plus the totally defensible reason of remembering whether I’ve written anything noteworthy that should go on my CV, I googled myself on Sunday night. The first page was what I expected – a mix of my work publications, my merry unpaid commentariatocracy, social media and freelance profiles. Continue reading

Theresa May’s plans are very bad

Few things unite UKIP and the Liberal Democrats. Fewer still unite those groups plus Tory backbenchers, the far-right ‘Britian First’, the far left Socialist Workers Party, Liberty, and myself. Few things have that power to disrupt the political landscape. Continue reading

Writing about writing about London

Something really contemporary about millennials in London living in small rooms on wages smaller than they were promised during A-levels, each wondering ‘What am I going to do with my life?’ on their online dating profiles as 22 becomes 25. Continue reading