16 reasons why you, a man, should hate the patriarchy


This is a slightly longer version of the blog first published on HuffingtonPostUK on 15/01/2014.

This piece was prompted by Emer O’Toole’s excellent article, Men –if you’re not a feminist, it’s fine, just move on. I loved it, I found it very convincing. Hopefully this list complements it. O’Toole’s point is that men who interact with feminism but care more about male issues can be ‘allies’ but shouldn’t claim to be ‘feminists’. This then isn’t a feminist article per se, but certainly an anti-patriarchy one.

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Welfare policy alone is reason enough not to vote Tory

I don’t usually begin blogs talking about myself, but I will here both to illustrate my argument and excuse my long absence. I have had some health troubles. An eye condition that means it hurts to look at screens, RSI in my hands that makes typing excruciating, and an operation elsewhere that made me generally immobile and tired.

When you’re young and fit, it’s easy to think you’re basically immortal. But even a few minor ailments that refuse to be fixed, or being rushed from hospital to hospital for an emergency operation, makes you consider a new perspective. Thoughts of long-term sickness pay or part time work loom, your appreciation for the NHS blossoms, and it all makes sense why you paid that unwelcome chunk of National Insurance contribution each payday. Then you look at what the 2010-2015 government has been doing for, or rather against, those less able to work or live with dignity.

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We want the arab migrants to integrate

To adopt true british culture

We want the arab migrants

To get hammered twice a week

And throw up in the streets


We want the Polish migrants to assimilate

To adopt true British culture

We want the Polish migrants

To shout “You fucking slag”

At middle aged secretaries


We want West Indies migrants

To shake off their alien culture

Cheer for England in the cricket

And start fights when

We lose the football


We want the Indian migrants

To try harder to fit in

Send their kids to Oxbridge

Dodge inheritance tax

Make a killing in the City


We want these African migrants

To give up their tribal ways

We want these Africans to

Internalise class awareness

Festooned with trinkets


We want these Bengali migrants

To embrace popular culture

Produce twenty or so talk show hosts

Of whom one might

Like to touch children


We want these Irish migrants

To come to belong

Betray their Pope, love the Queen

Bring the Guinness

That’s fine



Come on die young.


Not sure about this. Been a bit ill, hence paucity of posts. Many terrible ideas sure to be typed up in the fullness of time. x


Festive poetry with a hint of zest.

(Not really about poetry.)

I have found a very simple way to improve any famous poem. My method adds depth, nuance, ambiguity and forces readers to consider some of the English language’s finest bards in a new light. Continue reading

Could Brooker’s ‘White Christmas’ world be a utopia? [spoilers]

I have two thoughts of any substance, following my viewing of Charlie Brooker’s excellent Black Mirror special, White Christmas (watch it). If you are looking forward to some fresh milk, be aware it is about to spoil. Continue reading

Prehistoric agriculture stocks fall further after legal development

23 May 2021
A new twist to the intellectual property dispute between AgriCon Agua and InGen has broken a year-long impasse, Jonathan Lindsell reports, hitting both firms’ value.
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Internet, forget me not

For the sake of recurrent narcissism plus the totally defensible reason of remembering whether I’ve written anything noteworthy that should go on my CV, I googled myself on Sunday night. The first page was what I expected – a mix of my work publications, my merry unpaid commentariatocracy, social media and freelance profiles. Continue reading

Theresa May’s plans are very bad

Few things unite UKIP and the Liberal Democrats. Fewer still unite those groups plus Tory backbenchers, the far-right ‘Britian First’, the far left Socialist Workers Party, Liberty, and myself. Few things have that power to disrupt the political landscape. Continue reading

Writing about writing about London

Something really contemporary about millennials in London living in small rooms on wages smaller than they were promised during A-levels, each wondering ‘What am I going to do with my life?’ on their online dating profiles as 22 becomes 25. Continue reading

Scotland, don’t become strangers


The past few weeks you’ve shown more engagement, more humanity, more care about the things I wish we all stood up for, than ever. You’ve campaigned on both sides with passion, wit and intelligence, yet for such a momentous vote have been admirably amiable.

‘Project Fear’ is a bunch of crap, you’re right. Continue reading

How to be Feminist Missionaries?

I’ve been thinking (always dangerous) about how to spread awareness and support for feminism. Continue reading